There is a light at the end of my academic tunnel

… at least until after the Christmas break!

Tonight marked the finishing of my last two difficult to write, much dreaded papers that were on the Battle at Midway during WWII and Joseph Stalin’s paranoia and the execution of the great purges. The topics were quite heavy to begin with let alone that they were due around the same time and I was writing them in tandem essentially. I do have one paper left however after taking an overload of history classes this semester find poli sci papers much easier to write!

Although I struggle my way through writing these monstrosities I generally look back and reflect upon the experience positively. Despite the stress they inflict and the disappointing grades they may even produce there is something fulfilling in writing a paper. You look back at each paper you have written as a minor achievement and an opportunity you had to deeply pursue a topic of interest for a small period of your life.

I thank university for the things it has enlightened me to, not for the stresses, however for great quantities of other positive things.

On this positive note is is obviously evident my semester has finally neared its end. My D-Day is shortly upon me, 11 days to be exact! December 11 has never looked so good, and neither has one month holiday.

Happy December to you all!

This deserves a break

Despite the fact that I am super busy and have a closely approaching deadline and a lot to do before it arrives I figured a little rant blog was relevant. So here goes:

I hate living in a place where winter happens every year faithfully. Not because it is cold or snowy, not because it sucks for driving but because people always act like its a huge deal every time it snows for the first time of the season even though they’ve lived here long enough to know IT SNOWS!! The first major snowfall after a long period of snow or after the summer is always a gong show! People freak out and forget how to drive and its so ridiculous. Why do you drive fine for the rest of the season but epically fail on the first snowfall? It is soooo irritating! Still having summer tires on is hardly even an excuse here because most people have all seasons at least simply because they know it could snow and/or get icy at any time.

People of Calgary, please just jog that memory of yours and remember how to drive!

Kthanksbye.

So much to blog about

I have so much to blog about, so little time to do it. I hear things throughout the day and I just want to contemplate them and write sweet wordpress nothings about them but I am so busy. UGH!! December 11 is the day I long for.

Surrounded and alone

Even though I find myself so crazy busy, with essentially every moment of my time easily occupied with some sort of task needing to be fulfilled I find it equally easy to feel so alone. I have friends, yes, but lately they find themselves just as busy and/or in the position I found myself this time last year, occupied with love.

It is understandable that we have our ebb and flow periods within life, where we have moments of overwhelming chaos and/or occupation with times where we also have little to concern ourselves with. What I find hard to figure out is why, although I have so much to do, so much that should be on my mind, do I still feel ultimately alone and nostalgic? Obviously excessive school work and career building are not going to be comforting in the way that relationships are, nor will they ever be, but it is just such a drastic feeling to be so overwhelmed and so empty all at once. Trying to focus on writing a killer paper or making the right moves at work are obviously a lot to deal with and although they require such a great amount of effort it is still so easy to find myself wasting time recognizing my loneliness.

What is the point of feeling glum over the fact that you are sitting at home on a Friday night looking at a blank word document? It should just be accepted that you have things that need to be done and get them done, but what I think I am afraid of is that once I get it all finished, what do I have?

There are no easy answers, despite what you might think.

Coincidence?

On an accidental library check out of a book I needed that turned out to be in Romanian and not French, I learned something interesting.

Victory in Dutch is “overwinning”.

Hmm…

A week from today

I have been fortunate enough to become familiar with the Spread the Love non-profit organization when I had the opportunity to meet the creator of the organization randomly one day at school. Not only was their goal in providing food for the hungry a worthy enough reason to be interested but it was also for me interesting to learn that the creator of the organization is someone the same age as me! Anyone can help make a difference when they set their mind to it and he is proof.

Friday November 27 at 6pm we will be gathering to hopefully make 500 sandwiches at the Bow Valley Christian Church 5300 53 Ave NW.

Hope any interested people in the area will be there!

http://www.spread-the-love.ca/

MTV is not all trash

Despite the fact that it is easily argued MTV shows like the Hills and Bromance are extremely trashy and useless, I have come to notice and learn about some MTV shows that are actually of some legitimate importance. They address important topics and despite the fact that they use celebrity and television in their efforts, they use it quite wisely, what better way to get the attention of todays teens, our future generation, than via popular TV?

I learned about 4Real when I met the creator Sol Guy at a conference here in Calgary in October, and just happened to find the Jessi episodes. If you are interested in humanitarian efforts and issues they are definitely worth checking out.

Jessi in India
http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/video_content.jhtml?cid=1593575&id=10643

4Real
http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/show_video.jhtml?id=7910&ctid=1888

Contradictions and contemplations

A point was raised in class today by my political philosophy prof about the fact that democratic armies are not democratic. For some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day. How contradicting is it that an army that fights to preserve and even impose democracy is completely hierarchical and the least bit democratic? Unity in command and obedience to selected higher ups is crucial for a successful military is it not? Democracy in it’s purest form does not rely on that at all, and would almost seem chaotic in comparison as there is an emphasis on the importance of mass opinion and collective decision making. Hard to imagine that one of the most important institutions within democratic nations is based on and works within anything but democratic system and values.

Quite interesting to look at life’s ‘little’ contradictions sometimes.

Why would you want to make love disapear when it’s so hard to find in the first place?

If only the messages we send each other could all be straight forward, maybe this would have been easier for both of us.

As much as you hate conflict, when I start to flip don’t stray away. Obviously me going out of control crazy isn’t overly attractive and I totally hate doing it, and wish I could handle myself better but if you love me too, just stay silent for a second and let me vent. I’ll eventually get tired of hearing myself regurgitate the same fading argument and it will eventually do just that, fade. Once I cool down, even though there is still an issue at hand hug me and tell me you love me. If we care enough about each other we will get past it.

When I pull away, pull me back.

Work to keep what we have, or at least show me you’re more than half interested in loving me. I don’t mind having to go through ups and downs but I just want to know there’s never a moment of doubt in what we have, just the desire to keep it strong?

Like the Beatles would say: all you need is love, love is all you need.

Crisp November nights

Being accustomed to the chill the season brings I feel it gives more incentive to enjoy moving around to the sweet sounds of my favorite bands. This same weekend last year I remember exactly what I was doing and how much I enjoyed myself, strangely enough I found myself doing something almost parallel. Now I don’t like to claim I have a super memory however it makes it easy to remember because it is marked by a friends birthday.

A year ago Friday my friend and I met up at the University for a 3pm Empty Space Pine Tart and Shagbot show, followed by delicious Vietnamese cuisine for dinner. We then hustled to Wolfmans in Marda Loop to see Telly and Frankie McQueen for Kai’s birthday and then ended our night meeting my boyfriend and the Suicide Girls at Snatch, all while singing along to KOL in the car. This day was probably one of the most memorable for me not only because I spent literally the entire day checking out sweet local bands but I got to spend every moment of it with someone who meant a lot to me. I was honestly content and genuinely happy. It’s nice to have those days were everything just goes right and there’s not one part you don’t enjoy, except for the end.

This past Friday I found my situation a wee different starting my day working at the bank, luckily getting off early and then heading home to change. I then headed to the Palomino for Kai’s turning another year older. Strangely enough, guess who were playing? Yes Seven Story Redhead who are rad, but most importantly the Shagbots! Instead of hoping from venue to venue scoping the scene I was in one place taking it all in. Fortunately for me I have come to grow a deep fondness for the Palomino as I have enjoyed some favorable times there along with some favorable people and always a sweet band! A few years ago I would have never imagined myself in smokehouse bar decked out in wooden and animal hide furniture off the LRT line once, let alone on a regular basis. However, like I said, I have grown a fondness for the place and the cheap drinks the lady bartender gives me definitely help the cause.

After getting home close to 4am I decided Saturday was deemed to be a lower key day and thus stumbled upon my new infatuation! No it isn’t the Shagbots or a bar off the LRT line but it is flowering tea. I have been frequenting the local tea house a lot lately, I am definitely a cafe/tea house kind of girl and always have enjoyed them. Flowering tea however was new to me, I had only just read about the new trend in a magazine believe it or not. So thus, because I was looking for a low key night and happened to have some plans made earlier fall through I met up with Kai for tea at Oolong, taking advantage of his only being in town until Monday and also the fact that he is a male that will drink tea with me.

At 9:30pm on a Saturday night the tea house was actually pretty bumping and there were no tables available when I walked in. Who would have guessed a whole schwack of people had the same idea as me. Because I was waiting for Kai and somewhere to sit I had a while to browse the teas thoroughly and finally saw the flowering teas I have been reading so much about! Despite the fact that I am on a tight budget and this particular green tea Amaranth Burst was a class S and way more pricey than the others I had to try it. All I will say is that sipping on this tea and snacking on my matcha cupcake I was briefly in my version of utopia. There is no use in my describing the taste because you should all experience it for yourselves but I will have you know it was delicious and very pretty to look at!

Amaranth Burst -- my camera phone is epic fail I already know