June 2010

I tried, but I could not manage to get through the World Cup without blogging about it.

Being a Canadian soccer is not nearly as followed as hockey is, hockey truly is like a religion here. Despite the fact that we do have  a large immigrant and to a lesser extent, non-immigrant, population who do follow soccer quite closely I still feel the appreciation of the sport is lacking in Canada. For some reason the sport has me enthralled and the international  matches even more so. Strangely enough for me, people always seem to ask for my justifications in liking no only the team I cheer for but the sport as a whole.

This my friends is why I enjoy the sport and why I favor Spain:
1. Soccer (futbol, football, etc.) is highly entertaining to watch.
2. The people who play are brilliant atheltes, running around a field non stop for 45 minutes at a time not including extra time is pretty commendable.
3. The sport brings together so many different people, like hockey people of all sorts gather together to support their favorite teams.
4.  David Villa is amazingly talented, he has great precision when  he handles the ball.
5. The team has great passing techniques which makes it even more enjoyable to watch.
6. Iker Casillas is a brilliant goal keeper, his reflexes are superb.
7. Soccer is, just as hockey is, great with beer.
8. I associate Spain and Spanish football with great memories:
– When I was in a little town in Spain called Irun in 2007 stranded at a divvy train station an old news shop man struck up a conversation with me in Spanish because he saw me wearing my Spain jersey, although I didn’t speak very good Spanish he was so proud that I was wearing the jersey he gave me pointers on how to stay warm while waiting for my train and stayed with me the whole time.
– Coming back from Granada one night arriving at the Atocha train station in Madrid we were just getting of the train around 1am and got outside (after realizing the metro lines had stopped running) to see a huge hoard of people just gathered and moving in the streets. There had been a Barcelona vs. Madrid game that night and Madrid had one so it seemed the entire city had gone to the streets to celebrate, it was a really fun moment to be a part of.
9. I feel proud when I watch them.
10. I love the country. Traveling through Spain was one of the most amazing times in my life.
11. Spain is part of my heritage.
12. The men are hot.
13. I just do.

El equipo Espana


/ˈaɪni, ˈaɪər-/ [ahy-ruh-nee]
1. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected
2. incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

June 28, 2010, marks exactly this for me. This day means for me an official end to my academic career and also marks the monumental one year mark to the end of my last rollercoaster relationship. Where irony comes into play is when it is realized that this day is actually suppose to, despite the reference to endings, be the beginning of so much more (including the week). For most people probably not, but for me it is sort of an interesting realization.

I have mentioned in many past blogs and in many a Facebook or Twitter status my emotions in regards to being at this point in my life however now that the day has come I learn that I had no idea.  Again, as I often reflect, it is crazy to look a year back and realize how things have changed especially when there is a specific day that you are reflecting on. Thinking back to a year ago today is just as fresh in my mind as yesterday is, however where I have come since I would have never imagined at the time.  I realize, especially when it comes to breakups that people always think there will never be a love like their last and find it hard to imagine moving on will ever be possible and regret may even be on the mind. How I feel at this point in time, even as we never officially cut ties until much more recently, is not full of regret but full of pride in standing my ground and doing something that was in the long run in my best interest. Boring details aside, although you can be madly in love and with a great person they are not always the greatest person for you and although I did not fully realize this then, I obviously knew and made a choice that I now can appreciate. In a year I feel like in my personal life I have grown and learned plenty and I am again, proud of myself for realizing it. Just like all past relationships, lovers and friends, it all makes sense in the end and this situation has especially has showed me many valuable things during my year of reflection.

What is even more so unreal for me to think of is four years back to when I was just exiting high school and beginning university with no clue of what was to lay ahead of me. Going into post secondary straight out of high school for me was a logical decision but now I face the reality that is the real world and one I have never fully been introduced to. If it was not for maintaining employment during my years at school I would probably be even more so in shell shock than I find myself to be now. I went to campus today to hand in my final paper and although it was an experience I am used to and have done often in the past this experience was completely different for me, almost immediately after handing in the paper on the ride down the elevator I burst into tears and had an emotional melt down. Sitting here still wondering what is ahead now that the old familiar lifestyle is to be altered where do I go now? I never though this transition would ever have been as emotional for me as it was today but for some reason beyond my control I could no longer contain my emotions.

I am no longer a dedicated student nor am I am any longer a young naive girl obsessed with someone who took my breath away. Today I am a professional entering the career world and an adult ready to take charge of my life. Life awaits me, and this surreal feeling in my soul tells me so.

Congratulations to all who have come to a point like this in their lives, we made it. Just when you think it is the end, it is just the  beginning for something more.

Listen to:
Alexisonfire – Keep it on Wax
Bayside – Landing Feet First
The Trews – The Traveling Kind
Slipknot – Snuff
Hawthorne Heights – Ohio is for Lovers

I was reading an article and watching and episode of How I Met Your Mother when I was inspired to write a blog about why we (women), or at least I, don’t want to date you and know there is no long term potential. There seems at a point in one’s life a number of “potentials” that have hung around a while hoping for the chance to date you, just like you are probably that person hanging around hoping you might be able to date a certain man. Unfortunately for these men the chances of you ever dating them, especially this many years later is slim, and it’s usually never because they are bad people. I thus write this in aide to men who are still on some girls hook and in hopes of inspiring men to enlighten us women on the reasons you won’t date those of us on your hook.

1. There is no physical attraction
As much as people say that personality is the most important feature and I generally tend to agree, if I am not physically attracted to you in some way it won’t work. I can’t help what I feel, or don’t feel but I know that there just needs to be a level of attraction or it won’t happen for me.

2. We have different ideas for the future
Although the future is in the future your views on where you see your life going are sort of important. If you see yourself living in the bush and living off the land my dreams of having a career in that involves office work and interaction with people usually in cities the chances of us being happy together will likely be slim as one of us will end up having to compromise our dreams for the sake of a relationship. Although people are important and love is also important I don’t think that you should ever have to compromise your dreams for anyone. There is a difference between minor discrepancies and completely different paths, and if our paths are completely different it’s not a bad thing it just means we aren’t each others’ “the one”.

3.  We have conflicting values
I for example am not a religious person, and although I respect people that are and I would consider being with someone who is, I could not see myself  being with someone who does not respect my choice not to be. If you want to impose your values on me or believe that one day I will change to favor yours then you have another thing coming. Like conflicting ideas for the future, no one should have to compromise their values (religious beliefs, political ideologies, etc.) for someone else as awesome as they seem in that moment.

4. You are not overly stimulating to talk to
Although we may be friends and we can hang out as friends no problem if I don’t feel fully comfortable talking to you and having conversations of different levels with you then the chances of us working out will too be limited. We may have super great conversation about music, or even sex, but if that is all we can talk about how happy will we be 5-10-20+ years from now still talking about that one band we loved all day? There comes a point when something as wonderful as music just doesn’t cut it anymore.

5. We don’t like any of the same things
How can you be happy with someone who doesn’t like doing the things that you like to do, listen to the same kind of music as you do or hang out with the kind of people you like to? Yeah we may get along in private when we catch a movie or grab a drink and talk about something generic but at the end of the day life is more than that and if you can’t completely share the rest of your life with each other then what is the point in dating? There is a lot more to being a couple than being able to spend a few hours together as friends and I don’t want to be confined to watching Hollywood hits and generic conversations for the rest of my life.

6. You have an obnoxious habit
Again, as friends obnoxious habits are usually easier to tolerate however I will not overlook that habit if I am considering a relationship with you. Whether it be drinking like a fish everyday all day and getting belligerent on a regular basis or being disgusting at inappropriate times you shall need to understand that it can easily turn people off. Often times too, if that habit is changeable you have already done the damage.

7. You don’t pay attention
Your 100% divided attention isn’t necessary at all times  however paying attention is somewhat critical. When I tell you things like what I take at school, what I do for work or and the like, you should make an effort to remember. Nothing is more offsetting to a woman (me at least) than a man who doesn’t care about anything other than what goes on in his world. Taking the time to learn the basics will get you way further than being ignorant, pretty obvious though? If you expect me to be interested in your band, interested in your soccer games or supportive of your work then you need to show me the same interest.

8. I know too much about your past
As a long time friend you have told me way too much about your past, especially in regards to relationships and I know your flaws and don’t exactly want to be your next victim. How stupid would I be to agree to date you after I already know you’ve cheated on all your ex girlfriends? Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.

9. You don’t have anything going for yourself
Again, you could be a fun person to hang out with but if all you do is live to party that is also not overly attractive. I don’t need you to have a university degree or a six figure salary but if you have no ambition to do anything with your life or any admirable goals for yourself it makes it hard for me to want to be involved any further than I have to be. Living in a basement sweet or a small apartment for the rest of your life drinking beer all day and working a dead end job isn’t exactly how I see my ideal significant other. Ambition is sexy.

10. You are a shitty communicator
I don’t need you to spill your feelings all  day everyday but keeping me in the know especially if you want to date me is sort of important. Talking to me on a regular basis also helps. I don’t dig this text me and hang out with me one day, then fall of the face of the earth business and pop back up a week later. What would a relationship with you be like? Too up and down for me, sorry friend.

Keep fishing

In response to too many people I know and stories I keep hearing I have been inspired, but please refrain from taking this as an insult.

Why must you all be so cynical and lack optimism?

Stop trying to relate everything that happens to you back to things that already happened. I understand that there are often times similarities and common patterns but the theory that situations can’t be unique and that you’re bound to the same cycle is bullshit.

Stop being so tragic.

I am not being mean, I am being helpful. When you think about it being jaded is not exactly overly attractive so if you are lonely and want a significant other you should probably clean up your act. Focus on the positive things in your life and own them, don’t let little habits of falling back to comfortable patterns and shitty attitudes bring you down.

As a single person myself I recognize the challenge however why do we need to pine so hard for another person to think we are complete? Why can’t we be self fulfilled? I almost tend to believe that not being completely self aware is reason for the lack this person you seek as I as a fellow human being would not be attracted to someone who wallows in self pity.

Why do you need another person to justify who you are? Oh okay you want someone to compliment you and share your life with, I get that but seriously life can also be quite enjoyable in the absence of the institute of a relationship.

Don’t worry, be happy!