/ˈaɪni, ˈaɪər-/ [ahy-ruh-nee]
1. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected
2. incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

June 28, 2010, marks exactly this for me. This day means for me an official end to my academic career and also marks the monumental one year mark to the end of my last rollercoaster relationship. Where irony comes into play is when it is realized that this day is actually suppose to, despite the reference to endings, be the beginning of so much more (including the week). For most people probably not, but for me it is sort of an interesting realization.

I have mentioned in many past blogs and in many a Facebook or Twitter status my emotions in regards to being at this point in my life however now that the day has come I learn that I had no idea.  Again, as I often reflect, it is crazy to look a year back and realize how things have changed especially when there is a specific day that you are reflecting on. Thinking back to a year ago today is just as fresh in my mind as yesterday is, however where I have come since I would have never imagined at the time.  I realize, especially when it comes to breakups that people always think there will never be a love like their last and find it hard to imagine moving on will ever be possible and regret may even be on the mind. How I feel at this point in time, even as we never officially cut ties until much more recently, is not full of regret but full of pride in standing my ground and doing something that was in the long run in my best interest. Boring details aside, although you can be madly in love and with a great person they are not always the greatest person for you and although I did not fully realize this then, I obviously knew and made a choice that I now can appreciate. In a year I feel like in my personal life I have grown and learned plenty and I am again, proud of myself for realizing it. Just like all past relationships, lovers and friends, it all makes sense in the end and this situation has especially has showed me many valuable things during my year of reflection.

What is even more so unreal for me to think of is four years back to when I was just exiting high school and beginning university with no clue of what was to lay ahead of me. Going into post secondary straight out of high school for me was a logical decision but now I face the reality that is the real world and one I have never fully been introduced to. If it was not for maintaining employment during my years at school I would probably be even more so in shell shock than I find myself to be now. I went to campus today to hand in my final paper and although it was an experience I am used to and have done often in the past this experience was completely different for me, almost immediately after handing in the paper on the ride down the elevator I burst into tears and had an emotional melt down. Sitting here still wondering what is ahead now that the old familiar lifestyle is to be altered where do I go now? I never though this transition would ever have been as emotional for me as it was today but for some reason beyond my control I could no longer contain my emotions.

I am no longer a dedicated student nor am I am any longer a young naive girl obsessed with someone who took my breath away. Today I am a professional entering the career world and an adult ready to take charge of my life. Life awaits me, and this surreal feeling in my soul tells me so.

Congratulations to all who have come to a point like this in their lives, we made it. Just when you think it is the end, it is just the  beginning for something more.

Listen to:
Alexisonfire – Keep it on Wax
Bayside – Landing Feet First
The Trews – The Traveling Kind
Slipknot – Snuff
Hawthorne Heights – Ohio is for Lovers