Thanks to Jason Profant from Ink Monkey in Venice, CA

2010 was a year that really threw life in my face, I experienced more during 2010 than I did any other year. Because 2010 was so monumental for me I decided to take my birthday to LA. Further to that I also decided I wanted to get a tattoo while I was there. I went it knowing what I wanted the tattoo to represent and I knew that I wanted it to include the line “Happiness by the Kilowatt”.

For those of you who don’t know Happiness by the Kilowatt is an Alexisonfire song. Alexisonfire is a fantastic Canadian band, in fact one of my favourites. Dallas Green, who is one of the main vocalists in the band also has a solo project called City and Clour where he often sings the song acoustically. I first heard the song in the acoustic format and I feel in love with it. When I heard the original heavier version done by the full group I grew even fonder. The music and the lyrics of this song just have a way of  moving me every time. Obviously not everyone will feel this way when they hear the song, and some might even hate it, but I feel fond enough to now sport a tattoo forever citing it.

For me this song represents raw emotion; it represents a vulnerability we all feel at some point in our lives and most times cannot put into words. The lyrics, to me, refer to a getting getting to a point in life and realizing it was not what you imagined it to be; feelings of confusion and uncertainty due to predetermined expectations not being satisfied. I find I can relate very well to the realization in regards to expectations and growth not running on a parallel. Coming into adulthood threw a lot of curve balls my way and I quickly learned things that you are told while growing up aren’t always so. This song for me represents those initial lessons I began to learn but also the realization that life is meant to be lived you can’t hide in the shadows of something that “should be”. I also think it pushes you not to just settle for the easy route. I have blogged a few times about my ever difficult struggle to stop building up expectations for everything in life specifically because I know how detrimental it can be. I have often contemplated settling versus continuing to achieve more, create new goals, etc. so furthermore the song speaks to me.

I told my tattoo artist how the song made me feel and made him listen to the song in both versions before he started drawing. Funny thing about artists is that they understand one another and he ended up exceeding my expectations.

So, this is continuous happiness?
You know, I always imagined it something more.
With the right paint, the right shades, the right frames, this could really work.
What a great day to spend indoors…
ake, wake up. Wake, wake up….
So where has all the day gone?

And why are my lungs aching when I breathe?
Is there something wrong with the heat? Why am I so cold?
My heart feels sick and it hurts when I speak, and this is  not what I hoped for.
In a hail of sparks and a tangle of wires everything went wrong.
Wake, wake up…
Was this what we hoped for?
Was this what we hoped for?