In the recent months I have been quite absent from my blogging life; I have been rather occupied, as I have mentioned, with travel, looking for a home and just trying to get a grasp on what the heck I am doing. The main reason however, that I think I decided to take a break, was because I started seeing someone. Spending time with my boyfriend was a priority and started requiring more than a bit of my time and I almost started feeling guilty for wanting to explore my thoughts through blogging for all to see. Although one often needs ways to vent and express their thoughts freely to feel a sense of relief I started to question the whole foundation of my past blogging life.

First and foremost, is it fair to vent relationship woes publicly? What is the difference between blabbing to your friends about the things your significant other does to irk you and telling a whole whack of e-strangers? Should people who have a level of mutual respect for one another even have reason to spend their free thinking time picking apart their relationship?

I then started to think a lot about the health of my relationship and wondered if there is a point where the aforementioned doesn’t happen? I remember how hurt I felt the first time my boyfriend told me how his friends reacted and provided “advice” to him after one of our first falling outs. If there are sentiments you have towards a situation involving you and your significant other why can’t you just express them to that person? How fair is it to tell the whole world about all the awful things your other half does when they may not even have a clue you feel that way? What good is it to be angry behind their back? How productive is it? Maybe the things you are feeling are actually compeltely out of line, maybe you interpreted something completely wrong?

I’ve learned to accept that until you feel you can confront your partner with your concerns and be an adult about the way you feel you don’t have the right to be in that relationship. Having the next hot topic to gossip about isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be and you’re likely going to be more annoyed when people start giving you advice you don’t want to hear.

Ideally what you should boast to your friends about are the things you and your partner overcame and even then if you have resolved an issue as a couple and you have moved on, why do you need to keep talking about it? Resentment isn’t healthy and if you aren’t truly over it, don’t pretend.