I thought I had done everything I needed to find contentment for this stage of my life, but I still feel utterly and completely unfulfilled. Is this feeling of a deep lack of fulfillment problematic or just me being overly dramatic? Perhaps it is a little of both, or perhaps it’s just “normal”? I have never been a huge fan of uncertainty, I know that much.

Due to the internal burning desire for me to have the answer to everything I perpetually run questions through my head, over and over again.What makes us feel “unfulfilled”? When we are unfulfilled does that mean we are unhappy? Is happiness the same as contentment? Why do I ask so many questions?

All great questions if you ask me… ha ha.

Conventionally, I have done essentially everything right. Despite the fact that I had a few hiccups as a rebellious boy crazy youth, I went through the awkward stages of middle school, I felt most of what the average child feels and I went on with my day. I finished stage one of the schooling process and made the decision to carry on as is expected of anyone who wants a bright future… right? Now I question if I should have travelled more, worked more, worked harder in school, been more social or just run away?

I always dreamed of working for the federal government and being important, doing something fantastic. The problem I find now is that I have a fabulous place to live, a great roommate and a job a lot of people would love to have but it still doesn’t seem to fit. I want to feel fulfilled, and lately I ponder whether that lack of fulfillment at this stage is because I think I need to find it in someone else, because I am still single, or because I really just haven’t done anything right? Where are all my answers? What gives? Why can’t I just be?

You can travel the world but you can’t run away, from the person you are in your heart.
You can be who you want to be
, make us believe in you, keep all your light in the dark
If your searching for truth,
you must look in the mirror and make sense of what you can see.

Just be
….  just be.

They say learning to love yourself is the first step that you take when you want to be real.
And flying on planes to exotic locations won’t teach you how you really feel.
Face up to the fact that you are who you are, and nothing can change that belief.

Just be…..


After four years of my undergraduate education, thus meaning four years on campus, I have noticed several ways my constantly increasing tuition has not been benefiting me. My tuition went from being less than $5000 in my first year to over $7000 in 4 years time, that my friends is significant. With that book prices have also gone up and in an attempt to be green they even charge for bags now. I get the reuse your bags concept but when I’m paying $400 for books a semester minimum and $7000 tuition I’m not overly thrilled about having to pay another $1.50 for every bag I may need to carry my boat load of books.

On a more serious level classroom accommodation is lousy, not only are the desks shitty (most being half together and usually wobbly) but the chances of even getting  a seat are at times slim. In my 400 level political science class this semester students, more then 5 or 6, have had to sit on the floor on more than one occasion because the registrar scheduled us into a classroom too small to accommodate the students; a classroom for 78 students with only 66 desks. Not only is that completely unacceptable in itself, but the fact that my prof raised his concerns to the university and they claimed to have added more seats when the same thing happened all over again makes the whole thing even worse. So I pay thousands of dollars a year to sit on a floor in a freezing cold classroom? Sounds like a good deal to me… not.

Further to that, parking has gone up every year. I suppose this is “normal” but what is the purpose of gouging the wrong audience — poor students?  I remember when it was $3.00 to park in lot 11 and now it is $4.00 and when it was $12.00/day maximum in the “convenient” lots when you are running late, now it is $19.00. I have since taken up riding the bus and even that is shit, as a full time spring semester student you can’t even get a U-pass unless you are a grad student. Go figure.

Anyone who doesn’t brown bag their lunch or accidentally forgets to bring something to eat also get gouged.  I wanted to grab a sandwich so I could eat between my full day of classes (no breaks so I didn’t have much choice as to where to go) and a regular sandwich made on regular bread I buy for home cost me $6.01, I don’t even get Subway quality with that six bucks just  a plain sandwich you make at home! What gives?!

We need more accountability for our tuition!! University is suppose to be about education and teaching the future, seems like it has decided being a profitable organization is more important.